After all the battles, I had become accustomed to days or weeks of preparation and fretting before each meeting. We would consult with our advocate, we would research, we would pour over . . . → Read More: Oh, oops! We have an IEP meeting today?]]> I never expected to be in a place where I would completely and utterly forget that we had an IEP meeting approaching.

After all the battles, I had become accustomed to days or weeks of preparation and fretting before each meeting. We would consult with our advocate, we would research, we would pour over every written communication since the last meeting, we would chart his progress in Excel and if you happened to be one of my SKYPE pals you had best be prepared for us to pick your brains…repeatedly….insane, right? But, that was life in this district. At every turn we expected to be told, “He doesn’t belong.” and we were never disappointed. We always needed to be able to prove that they were wrong. He does belong. He belongs with his peers. He belongs in the classroom. He isn’t an object to be pulled out at recess or lunch.

As a completely refreshing change of pace, we walked into today’s meeting questioning whether we even needed a notebook. Given the fact that we’d reached a place last summer where we were strongly considering a tape recorder…that’s pretty impressive. We’ve been getting regular communication from Monkey’s teacher, she’s very matter of fact in pointing out the positives and the not-so-positives. When she points out a problem, she always has an idea of what to try next. She clearly finds Monkey to be an engaging, funny, lovable little guy, as all of his teachers have, but she also knows he’s smart and full of potential. She won’t wait until the next meeting to bring up a concern because that would be wasting her time, ours and Monkey’s. It’s very refreshing!

So, we walked in expecting nothing major and that’s what we got! He is making progress in all areas. Switching him from the inclusion room to the smaller room for math and substituting writing workshop is going very well. Writing workshop is more suited to his strengths so he’s less anxious in the classroom in general and becoming more social with his peers. They’ve increased his inclusion by using reverse inclusion for afternoon circle and Monkey LOVES having his friends from the other classroom come visit him on “his” turf…he shows off for them even. They’re continuing to work on ways to increase his independence.

There is one class he’s having continued struggles with though…music. So many kids with fragile x love music, Monkey is not one of them. They realized that this class is the most unpredictable of all of his specials. The teacher will randomly call on students to sing or dance and Monkey’s anxiety over being called created some issues. He would go limp noodle and try to escape, lol. They’ve given him a tool to use in that class, he can turn his “Not Ready” card over and he knows the teacher won’t call on him, and it’s working, to a point. He no longer goes limp noodle and tries to escape but, just before break, he let his teacher know he’s not quite completely comfortable in there yet.

They were standing in the hall, outside the music room, when the music teacher approached them. Monkey ducked his head and said, under his breath, “Shit, here she comes!” *snort* Yep, they’ve still got a ways to go there but I know she’s already thinking of new things to try.

**One little unrelated note, I redid my long neglected “About” page…so if you’re new here it might be a good quick way to figure out just who the hell I think I am **

Monkey has been working really hard at mastering sight words at school. His teacher sends home copies of the books he is able to read so we can read them . . . → Read More: This one shouldn’t hurt anyone’s head.]]> I have another grumpy-ass post eating at my brain but I am going to stick to fluff today. I need a break from me…

Monkey has been working really hard at mastering sight words at school. His teacher sends home copies of the books he is able to read so we can read them at home too. She also sends us a note detailing the ways in which he attempts to manipulate her to get out of doing the work and how she redirects him so we can be consistent in our approach at home. Ahem.

Clearly, he’s not reading War and Peace. The sight word books generally have 1 sentence per page and maybe 8 pages total. The sentences are also generally repetitive. “I see a cat.” “I see a dog.” “I see Mommy’s attention wandering.” That sort of thing.

Given the repetitive nature of the sentences and the fact that he’s read the book several times before we ever see it, it’s hard to know how much of it is his memorizing the story vs. how much he has actually learned to recognize the words.

Last night two cool things happened during forced story time:

1. Caleb excitedly allowed me to read a story to him! Usually he resists and I end up having to tell him, “Sit down, we are reading.” or “No, I won’t get out! We are reading.”
2. I was reading him a book that he is not using to learn his sight words from (Green Eggs and Ham) and I would pause during the story when I came to one of the sight words he has supposedly mastered to see if he actually recognized them in a different context and he did GREAT! I was so proud of him.

After we finished, he wanted to look at the book some more by himself. Since it was bedtime I hesitated, if we stuck to the routine I needed to say “Good night, sweet dreams, see you in the morning!” and shut off the light. It isn’t a good idea to break up a routine in general but the bedtime routine especially is carved deeply in stone, the result of many, many nights of misery. I stood, hesitating, but Monkey was already absorbed in the book again. So, against my better judgement, I turned on his bedside lamp and told him, “OK, 5 minutes.” and left the room. GAH!

I went and stood next to Duhdee looking a little wild-eyed. “I told him he could read for 5 more minutes.” And then I stood there for a minute before it sunk in and then I grinned because DUDE! My kid had just ASKED to keep the book. My kid was reading QUIETLY in his bed!

When I went back in 5 minutes later he handed the book to me without complaint and told me “Off” while looking at his lamp. I told him “Good night, sweet dreams, see you in the morning!” and just as I closed the door I heard him say “in morning, money.”

We met N’s mom over the summer, they just moved to the district and N was at the same school . . . → Read More: Our little chatterbox.]]> This past Saturday Duhdee, Monkey and I went to dinner with some new friends. The little girl, N, has Down’s Syndrome and is in the general education class that Monkey goes to for inclusion.

We met N’s mom over the summer, they just moved to the district and N was at the same school as Monkey for the summer session. She stopped us to talk about what we’ve been asking for and receiving for Monkey from the district. This was right in the middle of our OMFGWDHAFIEP period which probably made us poor candidates for that conversation but she didn’t back away from us slowly and run! Which immediately makes her our kind of people.

I was a little anxious but without any reason. Monkey briefly hesitated when we got to the front door but after less than a minute he walked into their house, took off his shoes and immediately went upstairs with the kids. **Blink**Blink** For the rest of the evening the kids would periodically run upstairs to find a toy and then bring it back down to show everyone.

When Monkey wasn’t completely making himself at home with the kids, he was sitting at the counter in their kitchen giving cooking instructions to N’s Mom and Dad. He was absolutely hysterical and they had a great sense of humor about it. They totally understand that when you wait over 4 years to talk, you have an awful lot of things to catch up on

Once dinner was ready the kids sat on stools at the counter and ate while the grown ups ate nearby at the table. Monkey ate a little of everything and asked for more rice. I was so proud of him for how independent and how polite he was! New place, new people and he acted like he owned the place.

As if having a lovely dinner with great new friends wasn’t enough, N’s mom shared a reading program they are using with N and it looks like it would be *great* for kids with fragile x too. And it’s FREE for downloading. Who doesn’t love free?

Check out See and Learn.

On day one we walked through the main gate and you know what that means, . . . → Read More: Two Gates.]]> Monkey’s new school has a very small playground/courtyard between it and the street. It has been fenced in for safety purposes since the kids stay outside until the first bell ringsand has two gates. Here, let me illustrate:

On day one we walked through the main gate and you know what that means, right? It means, we shall never enter the side gate. Ever. In fact, we shall never look at it…not even when Umma walks through it. We shall continue down the sidewalk, watching her out of the corner of our eye, acting as if she has simply ceased to exist until she reaches the main gate. Then we shall grab her wrist and hold on so tightly that we will leave indents. Or something like that.

Since I can never just leave well enough alone, I have tried to convince Monkey to use that gate periodically since the start of school. Every time I do it I hear Amy Winehouse in my head….”I won’t go, go, go.” Monkey has even been grabbing my wrist before we got anywhere near the gate lately to keep me from even attempting to deviate from his routine.

Totally not a big deal, right? Right. Except…I can never leave well enough alone…I don’t know why I need to pick until it bleeds I JUST DO. So, this morning, I evaded Monkey’s desperate grab for my wrist and slipped through the side gate. Before I was able to even draw in a mental breath to start singing along with Amy, Monkey slipped through the gate and took my hand. I nearly froze but stopping would have been disastrous…he likely would have ripped off my arm and dragged it through the main gate and I’m sort of attached to both of my arms. Then I heard Monkey say, under his breath, “Spwash.”

There were puddles on the playground. Monkey loves puddles but Monkey had been instructed to stay OUT of the puddles because he tends to end up soaked to his knees otherwise. I didn’t even think twice, I whispered, “OK, go splash.” And he did. And we were both thrilled.

He might not ever walk through that gate again but he and I now know that he can. And that’s enough for me.

First, let me start with a story. Yesterday, Monkey and I were organizing his toys . . . → Read More: This is what happens when you work to a student’s strengths…]]> Now that we’ve had the most amazing IEP meeting ever, the school has already started implementing the changes we discussed! We haven’t even signed the IEP yet but there’s no doubt we will…especially since we’re already seeing the benefits.

First, let me start with a story. Yesterday, Monkey and I were organizing his toys and I found a set of flashcards. Just on a whim I got him to sit down with me and I showed him the backs of each card where the word was written without a picture. He was able to read 3 of the words!

“Only 3?” one might ask? Yes, only 3 words we have never, not ONCE, tried to teach him…only 3 words he’s only ever seen written down as part of a story we were reading to him. So, only 3 is pretty freaking awesome.

This AM I e-mailed his teacher to let her know that there are 3 more words he can read besides the sight words she is working on. I got this in reply:

That’s great!

He did the most awesome job in writing workshop this morning (in gen.ed. 1st grade) with the assignment I had for him.  I’m very happy because I used all the words we have been working on reading in our classroom and he seems to be retaining them (and generalizing this to other settings and materials).  I had him basically reconstruct the farm book to teach him the concept of where the pictures go on the writing page and where the words go, and to teach the steps of the writing process they use in first grade.  Then he had to construct the sentence in chunks “I see” then “a” then whatever the animal was “cow.”  He found all the correct picture/word pairs independently and by the end he was starting to understand the order of words in the sentence.  He began reading the sentences we constructed unprompted.

I’m not sure exactly what’s happening but whatever we are doing is working so let’s just keep going!!!

First day in writing workshop and he’s already blowing their minds and showing them he can master academic skills in an inclusive setting…perhaps we did have a clue when we said that math wasn’t the best idea…