His brain is a wonderful, wonderful mystery.

This evening Duhdee was too sore to prepare dinner1 so we had take out from our favorite neighborhood place. Monkey and I got our normal chicken finger plate to share2 and Duhdee ordered a pastrami sub. When we sat down to eat, Monkey pushed his plate away and said something…something we couldn’t quite understand. I pushed his plate in front of him again. He pushed it away and very pointedly looked at Duhdee saying that word again. Finally it clicked, he was saying “Subway”! He was all smiles when we figured it out.

We have eaten at Subway, with Monkey, twice and the last time was over a year and a half ago. How did he make the connection between that sub sandwich, wrapped in plain white paper, and Subway?

  1. and Umma gets home too late to do it []
  2. he keeps all the honey mustard sauce for himself though []


I kinda don’t know what to say. I’ve hit that point where I know things are going to get better which means I must be better. I’ll take that. I have gotten so much support from my friends…so much that I sort of feel like I don’t deserve it which says A LOT about the awesome people who love me and a little bit about me ­čśë

Monkey has developed a new obsession in the last few days…Winnie the Pooh. I sort of thought we’d missed the boat on this particular character. He has never been terribly interested in it but then the heffalump thing started…and then he started requesting Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin eighty billion times a day, now he refuses to watch anything but that movie. He grabbed a stuffed bear and the pig Santa left in his stocking last year and dubbed them Pooh and Pigwet…he recites parts of the movie now and he does an awesome Tigger impression. Complete with the bouncing. Of course.

Fortunately, since life has been a little off lately, the Easter Bunny had not done any shopping for Monkey’s Easter basket before this all started. Duhdee expressed his hope that the Easter Bunny wouldn’t go nuts and start trying to compete with Santa…I’m pretty sure the Easter Bunny plugged her its ears and said LALALALALALALALA! before hopping off to the Disney Store. I think Monkey is going to be a happy boy when he wakes up tomorrow…which will make Duhdee feel better about losing that discussion.

I’m hoping the interest lasts until July, we’re going to have to take him to his first movie some day and…

Yes, please!

Heaven is…

waking up to the sound of the little boy you feared might never talk saying, “Money, help with this please!” because he wanted to play Wii Golf.


Also, for no particular reason, he has called me “Mommy” 4 times in the last 3 days. He can pretty much get anything he wants when he does that. I wonder how long it will take him to realize it? ­čśë


It could have been very bad.

We have this neighbor. She has a dog, a little, white mop of a thing that despises my dogs and thinks he is much larger than he really is. We made a mistake when we first moved to the neighborhood, actually, we made two.

  1. We were nice to the woman when her little $hit of a dog got loose (repeatedly) and attacked our leashed dogs (repeatedly and sometimes even on our damn front porch.)
  2. We held our dogs back so they didn’t hurt the little $hit who didn’t realize that he was smaller and outnumbered.

So. Eight years later and we are still having the same problem. Only now, my dogs aren’t 4 and 8 and capable of inflicting wounds but are 12 and 16 and capable of being injured much more easily. Also, now I have a child who wants to walk his dog outside…you know, where people do that sort of thing.

This morning, I took the dogs out to do┬átheir morning business. This morning, that little, white mop of a $hit was let outside in their unfenced front yard, unleashed, on purpose because…well, I don’t know why. This morning, that little, white mop of a $hit1 ran straight at my dogs, crossing a street in the process, and instigated a fight. This morning, MY SON WAS HOLDING THE LEASHES.

Fortunately, he dropped the leashes so he didn’t get dragged into the street. He was screaming, covering his ears and running around on the sidewalk in a panic as the dogs fought in the street. I am beside myself right now. The teen daughter was the one who came to get the dog and I yelled at her. It’s not her fault and I am going to apologize to her at the same time I tell the mother off.

After we got the dogs back in the house we had to leave for school. In the car he started chewing on his chewy tube, flapping his arms, squinting his eyes, swinging his head wildly from side to side and pressing his feet into the back of my seat, hard. And he was making that “eee eee eee” noise…my fellow FX moms will know it well. He was a wreck and it’s Friday and he had to go to school. *Sigh*

When we got to school, late2, he walked into school really well but you just don’t come back from that sort of total sensory overload that quick. I knew I had to warn his teacher and while we were talking…Monkey walked into class, hung up his jacket and ran off to play with the marbles. It was like none of that madness had ever happened! So maybe he does come back from total sensory overload that quick.┬áUmma, on the other hand, is still shaking3.

  1. Are you getting an idea of how angry I am right now? Sorry. []
  2. of course []
  3. And also plotting, maybe next time I reach in and get bitten and call the cops? That might be the only solution to the problem and I would rather it be me than my son. []

Could it be?

Today at school, Monkey was sitting at circle time enjoying a story. Well, he seemed to be enjoying a story right up until the point where he…*SNORED* loudly. The rest of the kids thought this was hysterical and *LAUGHED* loudly. Of course, you know what this means, right? Monkey spent the rest of the day just randomly making snoring noises. His poor teacher. Hopefully he comes up with a new joke soon!1

  1. Holy cwap! TWO positive posts in a row! Hopefully that means it becomes a trend! I certainly would enjoy more !!! []

Wait, wait, wait!

I hate all the whininess here. I really am so sorry you guys. Ugh. Let’s get back to Monkey for a moment.

On Saturday, Monkey was begging to “walk the dogs?” I finally caved in even though it was pretty much dead last on the list of things that needed doing. We stayed in our neighborhood and had a really nice walk, Monkey was chatting with me about two topics:

  1. Apparently there are heffalumps in the trees in our neighborhood. Monkey saw three on our walk, a blue, a pink and a green one. This morning he saw an orange one in our backyard.
  2. Monkey really wants to fly on a plane. He wants to go to the airport. He wants to go fwying! When asked where he wants to fly to he says “airport” like, duh, where else would you fly to? I couldn’t really argue that.

When we got back to the house Monkey immediately asked to go for another walk. I left the older dog at home, since he can’t┬áhandle┬álong walks anymore, and we just took the puppy1. I offered to let Monkey walk him because Barwee is really good on the leash for Monkey and, for the first time ever, Monkey took charge all by himself! He usually will only walk Barley on our street and then hands the leash over to one of us. He held Barley’s leash the entire time and did an awesome job. Now all he wants to do is “walk the dogs?” the dogs probably won’t mind ­čÖé

  1. Who at 12, is not much of a puppy anymore! []

It’s a new week but it looks awfully familiar.

What is the perfect topper to a depressed Umma? How about an incapacitated Duhdee?

Duhdee’s been having back issues since last fall, they assumed a ruptured disk that was irritating his sciatic nerve. It should have resolved within 4-6 months.┬áHe went through PT and did OK but never great. Over the last two weeks it has simply gone to hell. He had an MRI last weekend because he was in increasing pain, by Wednesday he could barely get out of bed. On Saturday, he didn’t.

An orthopedic surgeon finally reviewed his MRI results on Saturday after having been hounded by the on call nurse…he does have a ruptured disk but it’s not irritating his sciatic nerve. It is pinching the nerve and has partially dislodged it. The only fix…surgery.

Life is going to be very interesting around here for the near future…