just deleted it without posting?
I am having a very bad day emotionally today. I was triggered by two silly situations and I vomited it all upon the screen, proofed it and agreed that all the emotions were appropriately described. I dug deep into a lot of personal issues about my childhood, being picked on and being the sibling of a child with special needs and how that colors the way I parent. Then I tried to come to some conclusions and could not. I even managed to offend myself with some of the thoughts I was having, which takes a special talent, I think.
So I’ve decided to make a long story short (and to try to avoid making anyone uncomfortable with my raging mental illness) and do a bulleted list of why I having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
- I am not a talented hair stylist;
- Monkey’s only pair of sandals are trashed and he has only sneakers to wear;
- Little kids say mean things;
- Mean things stick for decades sometimes;
- Not everyone thinks different is beautiful;
- People are judgy, especially other parents; and,
- I do not handle criticism well, in fact, if feels like judgement.
Normally, I’d say something trite about needing chocolate but I’m so raw and weepy that even thinking it pissed me off at myself. *Sigh* Now that is definitely a bad sign.