It’s a new year.

On Tuesday, Caleb went back to school. This always seems to me to be the logical start of a “new year” rather than January 1st. After all, our lives will be measured in school days for at least another decade, right? So because of that and because of some conversations with my BFF, I’ve decided to make some new year resolutions. It’s time to begin again.

I said back in June, “There is so much room for hope based on what we and other families saw. I need to rebuild that hope within myself right now.” (Balancing Hope)

It turns out that hope doesn’t rebuild itself, I have to do the work. *Booooooooo!* And the only idea I have at the moment is “fake it until you make it.”

I’m going to try to get back to focusing on the positive in our lives again. I’m going to try to get back to being the mom I was before all of this…the one that had to plan weekends and stick to it, the one who would tell her anxious, little boy over and over and over and over what was coming next. The mom who would model deep breathing when hisΒ  behavior began escalating rather than snap at him to “get it together.” (P.S. – That isn’t effective, I would not recommend trying it near anything breakable if you decide to test it out on your own child.)

I did all this once, not very long ago either. I can do it again. I just need to stop stomping my feet and screaming over how unfair it is (see how easy it is to slip back to the negative? Redirecting quickly!)

Resolutions!

Bedtime – Caleb has one and, now, so do I. I need to get at least 6-7 hours of sleep and I need to get up at 5:45/6:00. I need the sleep to recharge, to keep my temper in check, to get moving on-time in the morning.

Mornings – We are going to get Caleb to school before the first bell every morning (we had been shooting for 2nd bell). We’ve built in a half hour buffer in the morning. We are 2 for 2 so far. He transitions into the school better when he’s part of the mob that rushes the doors at the start of each day. If it’s a super anxious day and he can’t handle the crowd, we will be there early enough to skip it.

Evenings – We will be starting up homework again. Unlike most families, for us homework is optional. That is probably the one thing that I admit typical parents should feel totally jealous of, we don’t have to have homework battles. We choose to. Errr…put that way it doesn’t seem very smart. Anyway, we got a list of what the 3rd graders will have for homework (reading, every night…) and we have requested the same for Caleb…ours would need to be modified. I’m thinking some of him reading to us and some of us reading to him.

Organization – I have some ideas on how to be better organized to help manage Caleb’s anxiety and for him to gain some additional independence in the mornings in particular. I need to be organized in order to create opportunities for success for myself because I’m tired of failing at life. That requires that I get it together…so that is what I shall do.

I’m excited, these are all things I have control over and I need to feel in control of at least part of my life again. As a bonus, these are things I can do to make him feel better too.

I love a good plan…now to follow it…eep.

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