I’m having serious writer’s block these days. Everything I pound out takes three times longer than it should, it’s very frustrating. It’s so bad at the moment that I’m even having trouble writing facebook status updates. Now, I don’t care who you are, that’s just pitiful!
In lieu of anything to say, I decided to add a new category to the blog. I get quite a few search hits of people asking about one particular topic and it invariably comes up when FX parents gather, so I decided I’d make it a little easier to locate the info here. If you look over in the sidebar you’ll see a drop-down for “Categories.” Potty Talk is the newest. I know it’s a struggle for all of us who are dealing with Fragile X, I hope some of what we did and learned will be helpful for others who are still in the potty training trenches.
In my opinion there is one thing that is absolutely critical for potty training any child with Fragile X and that is this, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT WILL HAPPEN. I feel ALL CAPS strongly that you keeping your belief that it will happen alive is absolutely critical to success.
Now, I know, it might not. There are people who will tell me it did not happen for their child no matter what they tried, no matter what expert they sought out and I am not saying they didn’t try hard enough. I’m not judging them in any way. I know they did their very best. I know they wanted it for their child just as much as I wanted it for mine.
But here is the problem…as soon as you believe it won’t happen, as soon as you give up, it won’t happen. Ever. I’ve heard stories of people in their 20’s finally being potty-trained. Someone didn’t give up even after 20 something hellish years of changing dirty diapers. What if your child is that child? What if they don’t learn until they’re 16 or 26 but they learn? Won’t that be worth it?
Don’t give up! I know, I know, easy for me to say since I’m on the other side of the potty training tracks but I was told when Monkey was 2 that I shouldn’t even try until he was 9. I didn’t listen and I don’t want you to listen either. Start now. Believe it will happen.
Great post I need my husband to read. We go through this all the time. I feel like I have way higher expectations for the potty training than he does, thus I feel like I’m the only one trying….but I keep trying. We’ve had lots of talks and I correct him STRONGLY when he says anything that makes it sound like we’re forcing him to do something he is ready to do……so my question is…..when in the *?&* do you think he’ll be ready? Sorry, I don’t normal cuss.
Did you really just apologize for saying “*?&*” on this blog? Sorry to laugh but that cracked me up 🙂
I think there are two components for being ready. One is developmental, it’s going to vary based on every kid, you know? Caleb was about 6-12 months delayed developmentally and he was about 6-12 months behind on the potty training. I think we have to be very careful to keep in mind what our child’s developmental age is…BUT our kids will learn to do things that are more sophisticated than their developmental age in some areas so it’s a fine line. Be aware but don’t use it as an excuse.
The other is our kids don’t like change and not wearing a diaper is a big change. Think about the pressure the diaper provides vs underwear. For a sensory seeking kid (like Monkey) this can play a big part in potty training. He didn’t feel as safe in underwear…all that deep pressure was gone and he wanted it back NOW. He needed a really powerful motivator to give that up.
Our kids love to do what they see us (or their friends) do. They need to see the toilet being used. I mentioned that watching other kids use the potty was very motivating to him…once we realized that we started sending him to the potty with Duhdee so Duhdee could demonstrate. It worked.
We had to give up on the potty seat and potty chair because NO ONE ELSE USED THEM and he wasn’t going to either (and buy a stool so he could reach the bowl at home, lol.) but he was then willing to try. He had to be willing because there’s no way to force this! Maybe if you can convince your husband of the value of modeling and let him demonstrate a few times he’ll get a chance to see that your son CAN do this and your son will get the idea that this is just what boys do.
The poop on the other hand remains a mystery to me…we were told to chart when he was going and then put him on the toilet for 10-15 minutes at that time but Monkey was not that regular and 10-15 minutes was way longer than he could sit. We started by moving him to the bathroom when he was pooping and having him dump his poop from the diaper to the toilet after and eventually something clicked.