Can you pardon a bit of nostalgia induced worry?

Here in MA we have what’s called the Minuteman Library Network.  It’s a group of 41 libraries that joined together to offer a joint on-line database.  I can log into the database, locate a book I want, request it and set which library I want it delivered to.  It’s easy and free.  I am, a big fan but it has none of the charm I recall from my youth.  Going to the library has become just another errand.

On Wednesday, however, I went to the library in the neighboring town for the first time and it was unbelievable.  When I walked through the door the smell of books hit me and I felt that sense of excitement for the first time in a long time.

When I was growing up I spent a lot of time in my small town, public library.  I still remember the day I got my very first library card.  It was peach with black writing, the size of a business card.  It had black font.  There was an image of the exterior of the library printed on the front along with the name of the library and the hours of operation.  I had to “sign” the back.  I was too young to write in script so I printed my name on the back.  I was so proud of my library card.  I also couldn’t wait until the day I had a blue one just like my mom that would enable me to use the adult stacks on the main floor.  I longed to walk through that wide doorway and get lost in that maze. 

In the meantime, though, I would walk down the stairs to the children’s section in the basement.  I loved that room.  I would grab piles of books from the shelves and settle into a bean bag chair and flip through, narrowing down my choices.  I was only allowed to take 5 at a time!  5 for a whole WEEK!  I had to be very picky.  I would stay there, hard at work until my mom came and dragged me out.  I’m sure my sister was there too but I don’t remember her ever being there with me.  I was simply lost in a world of books. 

When I’m reading I’m not really there anymore.  That used to drive my mom absolutely nuts.  She could stand right beside me and talk to me.  I would respond appropriately and then not do what she asked.  When she came back, frustrated, I wouldn’t even remember what she’d said initially.  I still do this to Duhdee sometimes.   He doesn’t get mad though, he just rolls his eyes and repeats the conversation.  Sooner or later he’ll learn that he should wait until I put the book down and make eye contact before proceeding.

Anyway, when I walked into that library I realized how much I had been missing about going to the library.  I’m certainly not going to stop using the on-line catelog but I’m going to set my pick-up location to this new library.  It’s not on my way to or from anywhere.  I’ll have to make it a special trip like it used to be.  I really want to share this with Monkey too, he already has a great love of books though he cannot yet read.  One of my great fears is that he won’t be able to learn that, so many of our kids struggle with this.   I’m not sure he can handle the atmosphere either.  He has no “inside voice” when he’s excited, but I want so badly to see his face when he walks into that room and sees all those BOOKS just waiting for him that I’m going to risk the stares and comments from the other kids and the staff when he’s noisy. 

I don’t want to stop pushing him to expand his world out of fear of failure.  I would consider that a profound failure on my part as a parent.  So I’m trying very hard to be realistic in my expectations in light of his limitations but this one is going to hurt if it fails badly. 

6 thoughts on “Can you pardon a bit of nostalgia induced worry?

  • November 7, 2008 at 5:33 pm
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    I hear ya. They should bottle that smell. I love this post. I remember when my family went to Colorado. I was eight and my sister was ten. We were both in the backseat reading as we drove towards the Rocky Mountains. My parents were in the front telling us to “Look! Look!” and we were in the back, noses towards those pages. I remember I was reading Heidi at the time, so when I finally looked up, I thought, “Well, of course it’s beautiful, mom! That’s where I’ve been this whole time, with Heidi!”

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  • November 8, 2008 at 11:55 pm
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    Kyle loves the library. Although we still visit the children’s section (upstairs), he’s getting a bit old to be up there ): But, at least we can use Evan as an excuse to be there 🙂

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  • November 9, 2008 at 11:41 am
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    I love the library. I always have. They used to have a machine that would imprint your due date on a card. I can still remember the “ka-thunk” noise it made.

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  • November 10, 2008 at 10:54 am
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    Our library was totally old fashioned, they used a hand stamp all the years I went there, lol. They did a massive addition/renovation when I was in college and I’ve only been back in once since. Totally ruined the place IMO 🙂

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  • November 12, 2008 at 9:31 am
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    The library is a great place. I use to ride my bike from the house and spend hours there. That way I could be on my own and just spend some time at the library away from the house.

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  • Pingback:So, we made our first trip to the library! | Basically FX | Living with Fragile X Syndrome

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