It’s still pretty ugly up in there.

I’ve had two more nights of weird and scary dreams, clearly they’re anxiety induced…in every single one someone is trying to hurt or kill me. Awesome. I told Eric that I blame the decision to run…clearly, running was a bad idea! Then my BFF had to go and point out that maybe they’re related to lingering anxiety over the Boston Marathon bombings. Duh. I knew in the moment that I was scared. I knew in the moment that all those feelings of being helpless and out of control in a big, nasty world would haunt me somehow but I managed to forget that “somehow” includes dreams. So, here is hoping that the clarity helps end the dreams. Pretty please? I’m tired of barely surviving my nights and it shows. Please take no notice of the chick nodding off in the corner!

In other happier news, we have done our 2nd family run and it went amazingly well! We used all new visual markers because we don’t want him to get fixated on any specific markers and he giggled his way through 2.5 miles of walking and running. I have never enjoyed running more than I do right now.

Caleb insists on holding tightly to my wrist. He runs in great big, galloping, strides alternately racing towards his dad or turning his shining face towards me. When we are walking he greets other walkers and runners, he offers high fives to a few and smiles to all. It is an amazing thing to run next to this boy and watch people watch him. It doesn’t matter if it’s a 70 year old woman, a 20 something drenched in sweat and running a pace I will never reach or a parent pushing a stroller…their faces soften when they see him and they’re smiling by the time we pass them. A few times I looked over my shoulder, watching for bikes or runners approaching from behind, to see people looking over their shoulders at him.

This child is a gift, I feel it all the way to my toes and my heart just bursts with pride when I see others, complete strangers, recognize it.

I’ve set myself a goal, either I or Eric will catch Caleb on video during one of our upcoming runs…you really just gotta see this…he might even make you want to run!

 

19 thoughts on “It’s still pretty ugly up in there.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge