So that whole Christmas thing that we hyped up and had such high hopes for? I told Duhdee on Sunday night it was the best Christmas ever and I meant it. That is high praise given how many amazing memories I have of Christmas growing up.
So, why haven’t I blogged? It’s not for lack of time or lack of material. I am conflicted. While we had an amazing time with thoughtful and understanding friends and family, I know that isn’t…by far…a universal experience. I know that there are a lot of you out there who love Christmas just as much as I do and who had high hopes and dreams for a lovely holiday that didn’t work out. This thing that we live with, Fragile X, is a beast. It doesn’t just reach out and break your heart once. No, it grabs on tight and squeezes the joy and happiness out of you at some of the most unexpected moments…and certainly at some of the least convenient moments.
At Christmas, when we surround ourselves with extended family, we’re confronted with all sorts of nasty surprises ranging from well-meaning family members (who should know better and shame on them if they’ve never taken the time to learn) to less-than-well-meaning family members (and shame on them for making a hard situation harder) to “typical” families who are neither ignorant nor malignant but their very existence in that nice, neat little world we dreamed of for ourselves (which we find ourselves locked out of) pains us. This time of year seems custom-built just to hurt and anger those of us with kids with special needs. I don’t want to add on to that.
For any of you who think you’re alone in having had a crappy holiday, you’re not. I’ve heard stories that make my blood boil. Stories that were not at all evident in the happy photos you may have seen. It’s human nature to want to edit our lives and put our shiniest, happiest face forward…we all do it at some time for whatever reason…but let me tell you you aren’t alone. There are some real assholes in our families that we can’t call out publicly without repurcussions. I’ve adjusted the comments setting, feel free to leave a comment and get it off your chest, you don’t have to give a name or an e-mail address 😉